By Zen DiPietro
So, i am a redshirt.
I come from a protracted line of redshirts. I denied it for a very long time, but if your loved ones participants have a behavior of having decapitated, impaled, or simply undeniable dematerialized, you ultimately need to face facts.
My dad had his backbone faraway from his physique while a member of his group de-evolved into what i will be able to in basic terms describe as a pass among an alligator and a yeti. A yeti-gator, as we now seek advice from it.
My uncle was once bitten through a phase-shifted arachnid and accidentally relocated to another universe that did not have oxygen. I suggest, heavily. try out calculating these odds.
My grandmother was once fortunately baking cookies whilst a cyborg transported into her kitchen and assimilated her. Technically, she's nonetheless alive, and she or he does ship me cookies from time to time, yet to be sincere, they style like shit. Cyborgs don't know how you can make right cookies.
My great-grandfather had simply landed a shipment send filled with rutabagas whilst a close-by send malfunctioned and shot a harpoon directly into the cockpit. A frigging harpoon. It does not even make feel. you recognize what else? i've got no concept what rutabagas are used for.
There are extra examples, yet bearing on the tragic demises of the vast majority of my kinfolk is bumming me out. Do you've got any notion how miserable relations reunions are for a redshirt?
Charlie Kenny has a fork phobia, a cyborg nana, and extra undesirable good fortune than a black cat breaking a replicate on April Fool's Day.
He's on his method into house for the 1st time, and it is certain to get it wrong in very epic ways.
Take off at the moment likelihood with Charlie and spot the wonders of the universe. Courteous porters will ensure you do not pass over any of the attractions, no matter if it really is blagrooks gnawing at the circuitry or a violent red mutant performing some killer dance strikes. The bar is open round the clock to your excitement, yet do not make the bartender offended. you would not like her whilst she's offended. (She's the purple mutant.) continue a watch out for Greta Saltz, the opportunity Fleet model ambassador--no doubt you may have already noticeable her at the lightstream. She by no means loses her vivid smile, even if we are headed into a disaster,
Uh, did we are saying catastrophe? We intended event! you will get not anything yet reliable stories out of your journey, guaranteed.** As continuously, we thanks for selecting the opportunity Fleet. Have a superb journey.
**This isn't really a contractually binding criminal declare. insurance of friendly thoughts now not assured. This for those who require contractual readability, please touch our felony representatives on the legislations workplaces of Pound, Sand, and Dhye.
If you like unforeseen twists, laugh-out-loud humor, and rooting for the underdog, you are going to love Dodging destiny. it really is like Spaceballs had a nasty dream approximately Galaxy Quest, after which a few hapless redshirt inexplicably confirmed up and face-planted in the midst of the action.
Laugh your approach via a few sci-fi comedy. specifically when you have not anything larger to do.
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Dodging Fate: A Charlie Kenny Redshirt Adventure by Zen DiPietro